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Jamies Winston Says He Can Now Read License Plates and Street Signs- The NFL Is So Fucked

Updated: May 29, 2020

Look, it's in my Twitter bio and I wrote a blog a few months back detailing why Jameis was the answer at Quarterback for the Bears, and if you're still unaware at this point I'm a Jameis Stan to my core. Basically, Tom Fornelli knows what's up:

Most people are Jameis fans because of the pure entertainment he provides on the field because of his ridiculous touchdown to interception ratio, but he will always be more than the NFL's equivalent of a shitty Turkey Bowl quarterback to me. I've been in Jameis' corner for as long as he's been around, and he is what pushed me into being the degenerate I am. No, I wasn't stealing crab legs or groping Uber drivers, the first bet I ever placed on him was a Futures Bet to win the 2016 MVP. Jameis has had a supporter in his corner since he'c come into the league, because I was able to see his issues that he clearly could not.

Everyone knew Jamies played reckless, and to be honest, it was becoming harder and harder to defend him with a season like this, despite throwing over 5,000 yards and 33 touchdowns

HOWEVAH, when the news dropped that Jameis was undergoing Lasik surgery to improve his vision, I for one, was dumbfounded. Through 70 career starts he has averaged roughly 282 yards 2 Passing TDs and an interception WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO SEE!

Live look at the rest of the NFL right now

I imagine Jameis trotting onto a football field for his entire life without being able to see is the equivalent of taking away Chris Kyle's eyes. Sure, you can argue that being a blind sniper is impossible, but I'd flip that argument right on its head and tell you playing quarterback while blind is impossible. In my head, I imagine it went down a lot like this for our King:

Sure, I'm upset that Jameis signed a back-up deal, but he's also getting the opportunity to learn behind one of the most decorated passers in NFL history. I imagine the chemistry between Drew Brees and Winston will be a lot like the tag team of The Rock n' Sock Connection it makes no sense in theory, but after touching the sun, Mankind (Jameis) had to come back down to Earth. With Bree signing his NBC contract this offseason and the Saints bringing in Jameis, it looks like Sean Payton found his quarterback of the future, and I for one, can't wait for Jameis to bury Taysom Hill and the rest of the NFL with his new set of eyeballs.

Comeback SZN has arrived

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