Justin Bieber's "Country" Remix of Yummy is an Abomination
I'll be honest, I'm not keeping tabs on Biebs these days. He seems like he's moved on from his days of being a complete asshole and for the sake of humanity, I am thankful. Marriage isn't a way to solve life's problems, matter of fact, it's not for everyone. The path Bieber was headed down seemed like he was destined to be a bachelor for the rest of his life, almost like the Leo of his generation, but as soon as Hailey Baldwin walked into JB's life, it seems like he straightened himself out. Can you blame him?
Really would have to yank my arm to straighten me out
But as I went to my for you page on Spotify before I made my walk to class, I saw "Yummy (Country Remix)" right at the top of the list, and was befuddled. Nothing against Bieber, the Purpose album is full of bangers and if you disagree, you're lying to yourself because you think it deflowers you, that it's not masculine, and that people will think less of you for enjoying good radio music. To clarify, just because it's played on the radio doesn't make it good music, there's a huge difference and we all know it.
So I thought this will be interesting and thought I'd let Biebs serenade me on my Monday morning, and let me tell ya, what in the Lil Nas X was that shit? I'm the first to admit, my taste in music is far from the mainstream. You don't find many other college kids who are willingly listening to Tyler Childers, Cody Jinks, Sturgill Simpson, Zach Bryan and the Turnpike Troubadours. You want COUNTRY music, there's a damn good starting point.
This song is an abomination from the first note in the song. The beat sounds like a knock off of Old Town Road, Bieber has just about the worst fake twang you'll ever hear and then the cherry on top was hearing Florida Georgia Line start the song out with a, "Yo JB!"
Florida Georgia Line has good songs, and I'd be a liar if I said they didn't. There's no denying the staying power Cruise has, literally everyone and their mother knows that song after it took over the world during the summer of 2012. HOWEVAH! FGL started the complete and utter downfall of modern country music, argue with me if you want, I'm all ears on Twitter @The1nnKeeper_ on Twitter.
The thing is, FGL makes their style of music so incredibly well that it's difficult to get mad at them for writing shitty music because it works for them and I'd do the exact same thing if I was in there position. My problem with them is that everyone tries to copy them which has led to country music having the stigma it has in the mainstream because every song sounds the same. Listen to country radio for 20 minutes and you'll hear Florida Georgia Line's influence clearly.
Florida Georgia Line dipped its toes into remixing music when the released a Guntry, or "Ghetto Country" for those of you who are unaware, with a Cruise remix featuring Nelly. 12 year old me ate that shit up, but 19 year old me nearly had a brain aneurysm listening to Florida Georgia Line sing this:
Shoutout, girl, I'm on my way I been up in Waffle House, but you my Chik-fil-A And I been into waffle fries since our first date (Haha) Ain't got time for playin', I'ma clean your whole plate (Girl, I'ma lick it up) Woo, yes, yummy, let me take ya to the country We can call it home cookin', I'm your chicken, you my dumpling We say grace, I say thanks, for my baby and this drink Let me slide on over, girl, and get a taste (Let's roll)
Bieber says that shit, who cares? But Florida Georgia Line is out here in 2020 claiming to be country artists, rapping about being into Waffle Fries since your first date? Welcome to America, I think 6 out of 5 people enjoy Waffle Fries! Nice subtle mention about munching on some young ladies' box, really classy.
I started this blog with an absolute abomination of a song, so I'm going to end with one of my favorites even though most of you will probably think it's an abomination. I don't care, it's Monday, I'm grumpy and feel like an old man yelling at a cloud right now.
- The Inn Keeper