Joke of the Day: 1.31.20
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. "Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?' " She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?" Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863!"
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do!"
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!" "Who said that?" she demanded. Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."
At that point, a student in the back said, "Send them all back." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Pedro answered, "Stephen Miller, 2016!"
The student in the back yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
The teacher said to the student in the back, "Stop that right now, or I will alert the principal!" The anonymous student replied to her, "I didn't do anything wrong, everything I said was perfect!" Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Donald Trump, 2020."
The teacher stormed out of the class to get the principal, and as the classmates looked at each other, someone said, "Oh shit, we're in BIG trouble now!" Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
Finally someone throws an eraser at Pedro to get him to shut up, while someone else yells "Duck"! Pedro calls out, "Dick Cheney 2006!"
From u/rytis on Reddit