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Tinder Thots Tuesday: Long Gone Summer

It's been too long since I've written one of these but it's not without reasoning. I had to reassess- was it worth my time to be swiping on Tinder in pursuit of finding a bio that I'd be able to make a subpar joke about? Then I realized I'd be swiping regardless to pass the time and I had to reload on bios. Not that I completely ran out of bios in the reserves, but it was the equivalent of the United States pulling out of a country who no longer has the amount of oil reserves that are worth their time. But we're back, locked and loaded, one week from today I move into my house at school and with the bars most likely being at a minimum capacity, I expect Tinder to be bumping like never before. The horny levels will be bumping like Avicii at Tomorrowland 2012.

And if you're new here, catch up on what's gone on in the past:

When I think of an "old fashion typa girl," having your tongue pierced in two spots is not where my mind wanders. To be frank, I wouldn't expect to find an old fashion typa girl on Tinder, because all men are pigs who are there for the wrong reasons! Now that's not to say that someone with a tongue pierced in two places can't enjoy drinking her coffee black, you holding the door for her or greeting her parents are sir and ma'am, but the blue hair and tongue piercings aren't helping you fit into that box you're backing yourself into. Legally change your name to Dorothy and take the blue hair dye out and I'll believe the old fashion sentiment. Regardless, sup?

Times New Roman vs. Comic Sans is not the typical debate between fonts when deciding to write a paper for school. I understand the love for Times New Roman, it's the classic computer font, you know you'll always get solid production out it. It's like ordering chicken fingers at a restaurant as a kid when you were afraid to try something new, but you knew damn well you'd be satisfied with your order. On the contrary, Calibri has a solid argument to take over as the preeminent font. It's respected in the academic sector, despite being a sans-serif font, edgy and cool. Then you occasionally slip in a performance enhance in Verdana. You pray they won't notice that the font is a little bigger than usual, but then you remember you can't rely on this forever.

But Comic Sans in the sheets? Guess that just proves a little curvature goes a long way.

Depending on which organization you consult, the number of recognized dog breeds across the globe can be as low as 202 and as high as 344. If you ask me, the Chihuahua ranks in the bottom 20% of either of those figures. You come across any guy below average height (blessed to be 5'10) and they'll blow a fuse over the smallest inconveniences. But you come across any Chihuahua I bet you have the urge punt that fucker further than Baxter from Anchorman:

And this comes from someone who loves dogs much more than the average person. Won't ever be without one, but if a dog weighs less than 25 pounds, in my mind at least, they're not a dog. Classify them as a cat, rat or whatever else you choose but they're sure as shit not a dog. Despite being an awful breed of dog, Chihuahua is an ELITE cheese.

No free drinks for me, send me your guesses on Twitter @The1nnKeeper_ and if you get it right I'll give you a shout out. That simple.

Also, be sure to send any bios that tickle your fancy my way, always love including content from readers and as I'm still stockpiling some bios again, I could use all of your horniness, now more than ever.

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