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The 2020 Chicago White Sox As Backyard Baseball Players

As sit in my basement wondering why anyone thought it was a good idea to eat bat soup I remembered I was supposed to be watching White Sox baseball in 5 days. Instead I'm flipping back in forth between Good Will Hunting and Monster Jam, Funny how things change.

These past few days I've been really searching for something to do. I've been watching a fuck ton of The Sopranos, playing MLB The Show to make some of the pain go away and watching a Top 100 Wrestlemania matches list to pass the time. But then I get to 10 PM and have nothing else to do which led me to go looking for the Wii from my childhood under the crawl space. While I didn't find the Wii, I found a box of old games because that makes sense. But in that box, I found a game that opened up memories I forgot existed

Intro song was an absolute banger

But instead of buying a Wii I'd never used again after this is over, I decided the best way to go about this was to compare the OG Backyard Baseball Players to the 2020 White Sox. Are these that accurate? Absolutely not, in all honesty, probably not close at all but I had a fun time trying to make this as accurate as possible. This list will not include Pitchers because none of those guys can swing the stick if their life depended on it. We're also tossing what side of the box they swing from and throwing arm out the window because there is absolutely no way this would get done if that was the case.


Yasmani Grandal- Jocinda Smith

The type of addition to your team that causes people to start paying attention. Yasmani may not be able to play any positions other than Catcher and First base well, but look at those skill ratings. Dominant with the bat, below average on the base paths and skilled with the glove. Grandal is a better defender than Jocinda in her prime, but that doesn't hurt this comparison enough to take it away from Grandal

James McCann- Billy Jean Blackwood

A little suspect with the glove and a great arm? Jame McCann, how ya doing! I think the reason I was the most excited to see Grandal this year was how many lightyears ahead of McCann he was in pitch framing. McCann lost the White Sox 8 runs from his framing while Grandal saved the Brewers 19.4 in 2019. But hey, McCann had a great first-half and gets to bitch and moan that the Sox brought in one of the top catchers in the game. McCann might not have crazy legs like Billy Jean, but there have to be a few screws loose up there.

Yermin Mercedes- Pablo Sanchez

MY 26TH MAN! It's a damn shame, but let's get to our real Pablo Sanchez and the rest of the infielders.


Yoan Moncada- Pablo Sanchez

Everyone has their own opinions about who's going to best the of the Young Core when it's all said and done, but in my opinion, it'll be YoYo. He oozes start power and just has the look of a league-wide superstar. Maybe it's that he's devilishly handsome, has the build of a running back that Nick Saban would have a wet dream over, or that he has the prettiest swing of any White Sox player in my lifetime. Yeah Moncada had his coming out party last season, but if and when baseball resumes this year, people are going to be shaking their heads over how cheap he's locked up for.

I mean come on

Jose Abreu- Annie Frazier

Annie Frazier just screams glue girl to me, and that's exactly what Pito is to this team. Without him, who knows what direction this squad heads in. We all thought the Astros were an awesome young core, too. Abreu runs with a piano on his back and plays a brutal first base, but this one's all about character ladies and gentlemen.

Edwin Encarnacion- Mikey Thomas

EE may not talk to Rocks like Mikey, but he does pretend there's a parrot on his arm during his home run trot. Some people call it being weird, I call it being a wildcard. Growing up, I had a kid on one of my teams who would chew up Ranch Seeds and throw in a mouthful of Sour Apple Big League Chew with it. Might've been repulsive, but we all stopped caring about it when he was producing on the diamond. Mikey and Edwin are a couple of boppers with the stick, it's a damn shame we're not going to get a full season of him sending balls into orbit at the G-Spot.

Leury Garcia- Reese Worthington

I'm lumping Leury in with the infielders because he'll be the Opening Day (whenever that is) 2nd basemen. Leury, just like Reese, doesn't necessarily scream baseball player. Matter of fact, Leury screams Matt Forte if you ask me

Don't fight it

But Reese's stats are serviceable across the board, just like Leury who somehow became one of the bright spots for me on the Sox the past few years.

Nick Madrigal- Ernie Steele

When I said that some of these were going to make absolutely no sense at all, this one was the one I was talking about. Physically? Absolutely zero in common, but I'll be damned if Nick Madrigal doesn't win himself a few Gold Glove Awards to throw on the mantle. It's only a matter of time until people fall in love with Madrigal like they wanted to fall in love with Gordon Beckham, and I can't wait.

Tim Anderson- Stephanie Morgan

Not necessarily sure TA7 was born to play shortstop, but guess what? He's my shortstop, and I don't think there's anyone else I'd want there than him for this team (that's blatantly false because I'm sure he can play Right Field). Just like Stephanie, Tim's on-field antics are too much for purists to handle, but I guess that batting title doesn't mean shit. The skills are a little disproportioned, but if you were to flip the batting and fielding I think this is as spot on of a comparison that you'll find.

Eloy Jimenez- Achmed Khan

Eloy and Achmed alike make opposing pitchers piss their pants a little bit every time they step up to the dish. Achmed's headphones might be a little more eccentric than Eloy's red batting gloves, but both of these guys are always a joy to have in the clubhouse.

Luis Robert- Pete Wheeler

Not up to the caliber of Yoan Moncada (Pablo Sanchez), at least yet, I give you Pete Wheeler. Pete's speed makes him stand out, and with a frame as gangly as Pete's there's always room for growth. La Pantera's growth isn't going to come from his frame, but his ability to hit a breaking ball and spray the ball to all fields. He's got a lot of growing up to do, but both of these guys are true five-tool players.

Nomar Mazara- Kimmy Eckman

Nomar and Kimmy are two people who you want to see improve. You want Nomar to be more than a platoon bat and reach the potential scouts thought he had. Everyone wants Kimmy to come into her own on the diamond so it doesn't feel like you're using her for her backyard, but we all now that's not going to happen. Instead of flaking out when his sugar levels run low, put Nomar in the box against a Southpaw and it's game over.

Adam Engel- Vicki Kawaguchi

Everyone knows they can't hit, but they end up carving out a role because of the speed and glove that they bring to the table. If Engel wasn't one of the premiere defensive centerfielders in baseball, he'd be playing for the Mets by now. With batting skills as low as that, the only thing that can be said is that at least it can't get any worse. Maybe you shouldn't change your swing and stance twice a year, but at least the effort's there! Two players that you want to excel, but they make it harder and harder each game.

Nicky Delmonico- Jorge Garcia

Agree or disagree with my choices? GFY, but let me know how your lineup would shake up on Twitter @The1nnKeeper_

And yes, I left out Keisha Phillips. It was a tough omission, but the only player on the Sox with any semblance is Eloy. Too bad he looks like a wounded deer in the outfield.

Checking Out

-The Inn Keeper

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