2019: Stay away from negative people 2020: Stay away from positive people From u/popcorn_21 on Reddit

My new pencil can write UNDERWATER It can write other words too From u/cman7531 on Reddit

I'm no tailor but... I think adding an "e" to the end of your suit would be pretty suite From u/TheTalkingSandvich on Reddit

When I caught my neighbor attaching a rocket engine to a deer, I immediately reported him to the cops Shame on him for trying to make a quick buck From u/Say...

If you get an e-mail titled "Find out just what everyone is so concerned about in 2020," don't open it It's probably a virus From u/TheInsonmiacFox on Reddit

I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it. I know it's hard to believe, but I saw it with my own two eyes. From u/ChewyNutCluster on Reddit

My wife is fed up with my constant dad jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" Wife: "whatever means necessary" Me: "no it doesn't" From u/dand...

Why did the military general refuse to use social media? It was his personal creed to never surrender or retweet. From u/stooftheoof on Reddit

I can't take my dog to the park without all the ducks attacking him I shouldn't have gotten a pure bread. From u/mcerk02 on Reddit

I had some good jokes about unemployment but none of them work

Why doesn't anyone in Antarctica have Covid-19? Because they're self ice-o-lating. From u/studentadvisor101 on Reddit

They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket. They lied, everyone else had their clothes on. From u/Reg182 on Reddit

Pandemic jokes are the funniest Because everyone gets it From u/AlabamaMayan on Reddit

I'll always remember what my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said "Grandson... How far do you think I can kick this bucket?" From u/Randya...

John Travolta tested negative for the coronavirus last week Turns out it was just Saturday night fever From u/TwoAdenine on Reddit

Whats a group of overweight infants called? Heavy Infantry From u/Sandyatk445 on Reddit

Why did the can crusher quit his job? It was soda pressing. From u/HellsJuggernaut on Reddit

What do you call an Atheist business? A non-prophet organization. From u/Juractive on Reddit

How do you measure a red hot chili pepper? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh, now. From u/DanOfAllTrades80 on Reddit

I hear Coronavirus porn is trending. What a bunch of sick fucks. From u/ppmuncher123 on Reddit